That’s not life!
For someone who has been in and out of prison more than 10 times, Ah Hai’s complete turnaround is nothing less than a miracle. If you were to ask him whether he misses his old life at times — the smell of cigarettes, the taste of drugs, the unleashing of his temper, his heydays in vice and violence, he would be aghast and tell you without a doubt, “That’s not life!”
But that was how he had lived for over 50 years.
Prison was Like Home
Better known as 海龙王 (Sea Dragon King) in the gangster world, Ah Hai’s real name is Tan Boon Khoon. As early as in primary school, he started following his uncle to gambling dens and eventually joined a gang where he got involved in extortion, which landed him in prison at age 16.
His first taste of life behind bars, however, did not scare him off. He wanted to be macho and powerful, and believed that a gangster lifestyle was the way to go. Hence, he stayed in gangs, smoked, drank, got into fights, stole vehicles, trafficked drugs, and was in and out of prison many times.
Ah Hai at a shopping mall in Taiwan in 2018
“Prison was like my second home. I come in and out of it like nothing,” said Ah Hai.
When he was 32, he was back in prison again for trafficking about one pound of heroin and was nearly sentenced to death! Fortunately, upon further checks on the purity of the heroin in his possession, it was eventually found to be less than 15 grams.
But having narrowly escaped death did not make him call it quits. For him and many of his friends who had dedicated themselves to their gangs, there was an unstated commitment to put his life on the line when duty called. What then could stop him in his tracks?
Love Broke Through
Thankfully, something did!
In the year 2000, Ah Hai was caught at Far East Plaza for stabbing someone during a gang fight, and was subsequently sentenced to seven years’ jail and six strokes of the cane. He was in his early 40s then, and his wife had just given birth to their only son. In fact, she went through a period of depression during her pregnancy when she learned that he had got into trouble and would likely be imprisoned again.
He had no savings to speak of at that time and had not made any contingency plans. Seeing how lost his wife was when he got sentenced, he felt very bad.
He said, “I was the one in the wrong. I needed to pay for what I had done. But because of me, my wife had to go and work at a coffee shop as a beer waitress and care for our son alone.”
In spite of everything, his wife would always come and visit him. He still remembers how she once visited with their 10-month-old son and how worried and sorry he felt then. That broke his heart and knocked sense into him. He began to think seriously about renouncing his old way of life.
Ah Hai with his wife and son at their home in Punggol about 7 years ago
God Enabled
Ah Hai knew he had to change for the sake of his wife and son, but he didn’t know if he could do it. “It wasn’t easy. I could not change myself. I needed God,” he said. His resolve was strengthened upon seeing how his friends had transformed after they became Christians.
While in prison, he started attending counselling sessions twice a week. During this period, after his roommate fell asleep, he would get up in the middle of the night to pray and ask God to change him. As Ah Hai quietly battled his inner demons by continually seeking the Lord and knowing Him more, he was unwittingly being transformed in ways which surprised even himself.
He recounted, “When I came out of prison, I stopped everything. I didn’t smoke; I didn’t drink. I renounced the gang. People said I would not be good for long, as they all knew I had a bad temper and was easily provoked. I asked God to help me with my temper, and God really did something to me.”
He later became a taxi driver and managed to stay on the job and out of trouble for nine long years. “I really wanted this job. I really wanted to make an honest living.” This earnest desire kept him toeing the line and reining in his temper in challenging moments. And his efforts paid off. Today, he is the proud owner of a three-room flat and a car, which he had saved up to buy. Even his temper mellowed, and his friends were amazed at the change in the way he speaks now, without a mouthful of vulgarities.
Rebuilding Trust
His family also began to see brighter days. When he was in prison, his wife came to know the Lord through the Angel Tree Project organised by Seventy Times Seven (70x7), an initiative of Prison Fellowship Singapore (PFS). As part of the project, a volunteer had visited her, bringing along a Christmas hamper. She subsequently shared the gospel with Ah Hai’s wife and kept up with her, giving continued support and encouragement.
Today, both Ah Hai’s wife and his 21-year-old son, who is now in national service, are Christians. Even his 86-year-old mother has since come to know the Lord. His loved ones, including his siblings, were heartened to witness his transformation, and have rallied around him to give greater support.
As for Ah Hai, he was initially fearful that his son would follow in his footsteps, pick up undesirable habits and get into bad company. But his worries were unfounded, and he was glad to see his son grow into a fine young man of good character, with wholesome inclinations and a clean record, free of vices.
Celebrating Mother’s Day with his mother
With his wife and son in recent times
Regaining the trust and acceptance of loved ones and the larger community was, however, quite a journey. With his long shaggy hair and a body covered with tattoos, he was keenly aware of how his appearance often made people wary of him. When driving a taxi, he would wear a long sleeved shirt to cover up his tattoos. Now sporting a crew cut, Ah Hai knows that if he leaves his tattoos exposed, there is still a chance that people will walk out of the lift if he enters.
Ah Hai still remembers vividly his embarrassment on one occasion, when no one wanted to sit next to him on a very crowded bus. Afraid that such scenes would replay, he usually stands while on buses, even when there are empty seats.
Similarly, when he first joined a church, he understood that it would take time for him to get assimilated. He said, “People will be scared to get too close to you. We just have to be ourselves before God and give people time to realise that we are okay to be with, when they know us more.” Being in the Christian community for more than 15 years now, he has since built his own network of support, including a group of Christian brothers he meets with every week.
A Living Testimony
Ah Hai has also been active in community service and overseas missions. Since 2014, before the travel restrictions due to Covid-19, he used to organise mission trips to Tanjung Pinang in Indonesia once or twice a month, where he had brought along ex-offenders, church members, as well as his wife and son.
On these trips, they would visit the church, orphanage and prison. They would share testimonies, bring provisions, help with repairs and chores, and simply spend time encouraging people there. Up till now, he has kept in touch with their community via Whatsapp video calls. He also continues to send provisions to meet their needs, while keeping strict documentation and photo records for accountability to donors who have entrusted him with the funds to bless others.
With some youths enjoying a KFC meal at an orphanage in Tanjung Pinang in 2019
Besides Tanjung Pinang, Ah Hai has gone on mission trips where he followed pastors and counsellors into prisons in Hong Kong, Jakarta, Nepal, Taiwan, and Vietnam, sharing his testimony. Back home, he also visits the Singapore Prison as a PFS and Singapore Anti-Narcotics Association (SANA) volunteer, to encourage inmates to renounce gangs.
Said Jensen Lee, facilitator of the Gang Desistance Programme at PFS, “He is well known to many inmates and the officers in prison. Just seeing him there with us already makes a huge impact. Ah Hai would always share with them about his transformation and his life now, as compared with before. Recently after our four-week programme with 15 participants, 13 of them ended up deciding to break away from their gangs.”
Jensen (in peach-coloured T-shirt) and some PFS volunteers who joined Ah Hai on one of his Tanjung Pinang mission trips in 2018
Resolve to Be Free
Jensen first met Ah Hai when they were fellow prisoners. They were from the same gang and were both veterans in crime and regulars in prison. When they visited the prison as volunteers, the inmates would sometimes approach them for advice on how to break away from gangs, fearing that they would be threatened. Jensen and Ah Hai would tell them that for the gang to let them leave, they needed to show their determination to change and make a decisive break. They would advise the inmates to start living gang-free lives, even while in prison.
“You have to be determined to change, and not make excuses for yourself. I have done a lot of bad things. It wasn’t easy to change, but God changed me. I can’t believe how I’ve managed to break away. But I feel free now," said Ah Hai. Both he and Jensen would testify that it wasn’t sheer willpower that enabled their transformation. They couldn’t do it time and again before, and might still slip back into their old ways, if not for the power and grace of God.
Jensen said, “Because we have tasted the goodness of God, the chances of us going back now is very low. We call ourselves ‘Trophies of Grace.’ We used to have nothing. Now we have a wife and children and a home.”
Jensen and Ah Hai are among the Overcomers. They are people who have made clean breaks and left their old life behind for many years. But for ex-offenders who have just been released from prison, they will find themselves still in a vulnerable and precarious state.
“When you come out, you have nothing. That is the period when you will know who will walk with you through thick and thin. Who you mix with is very important. That is why we always ask them to come and find us. We will connect them with people who will help them with their practical needs, help them assimilate into a Christian community, and recommend them for jobs with suitable employers,” said Jensen.
Live Now to the Full
Ah Hai with two of his church-mates during one of their cycling trips to Coney Island in 2021
Having lived a crime-free life for the past 16 years, the 64-year-old Ah Hai enjoys the freedom and peace he has now. He draws comfort from his restored relationships with God, family and friends, and takes delight in simple pleasures from nature.
In the mornings, he will go for walks around Punggol Waterway, where he will reflect on his past and talk to God. In the afternoons, he will go cycling alone and take photos of things that catch his eye. Some days, he will visit the halfway house to encourage people there; and this year-end, he will be participating in the Angel Tree Run to raise funds for ex-offenders and their families who are beneficiaries of 70x7.
The previously hot-tempered Ah Hai is now a non-combative man of quiet action who likes to serve others behind the scenes. Though it has been painful to recount his deeds in the past, he is willing to step forward and share his experiences if they can encourage others.
Before, nothing scares this man. But now he fears slipping back into depravity, as he has a family to protect, a God to account to, and much to lose after having experienced the joy of restored relationships with God, and with family and friends.
Jesus said, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10:10) And an abundant life is a life filled with love, joy, peace and fruitfulness as we remain in Him, for apart from Him, we can do nothing. (John 15:4)
Ah Hai was able to break away from his old company and vices so cleanly and for so long because he has clung on to the Lord who enables him. To other ex-offenders and all of us, his life continues to be a powerful testimony of how the broken can eventually be made whole — by the grace of God through Christ!
[Translation of Mandarin text above] “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, old things have passed away, behold, all things have become new.” - 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NKJV)
[Translation of Mandarin text above] “Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.” - John 8:36 (NKJV)
“The Gospel … is the power of God unto salvation to everyone that believeth.” - Romans 1:16 (KJV)
*All photos in this article are reproduced with permission from Ah Hai, who provided them.
Want to support our beneficiaries like Ah Hai?
Join the Angel Tree Run today by signing up here!
*Run has concluded 19th Dec 2021. Thank you.