Our Intern Writes - #1

The brothers enjoying dinner and fellowship before the TCG session commences.

With this question “Would you like to try writing an article?” I accepted my first writing assignment two weeks into my internship. It would be my first time attending the Thursday Connect Group (TCG), a weekly session designed to support the male beneficiaries of Prison Fellowship Singapore (PFS) adjust back to society through the word of God. Despite knowing ex-offenders were heavily stigmatized by society, with many being misunderstood, I would be lying if I said I did not have my fair share of concerns. What if I say or do something insensitive? What if I offend them in some way and they get angry? What do I do in such situations? Coming from a privileged background, I was anxious that there would be a barrier preventing me from understanding and connecting with these men who have undergone great hardships and pain. I soon came to realize these fears were unfounded, as I met some of the calmest, gentlest and most genuine people gathered in a single space.

“I was anxious that there would be a barrier preventing me from understanding and connecting with these men who have undergone great hardships and pain. I soon came to realize these fears were unfounded, as I met some of the calmest, gentlest and most genuine people gathered in a single space.”

I got to acquaint myself with a few of our beneficiaries over dinner. Before then, Kok Wan (PFS Executive Director) jokingly challenged me to identify who were volunteers and who were the ex-offenders. I did not think much of that remark, but when dinner started, I truly did have difficulty in recognizing who was who. There was virtually no divide between ex-offenders, volunteers, and ex-offenders-turned-volunteers. Conversations were natural and light-hearted, the kind one would come across at any local coffeeshop. I enjoyed speaking with everyone during dinner, hearing about their stories and certain struggles they had, particularly, the struggles which volunteers went through in terms of dealing with inadequacy.

“What is a calamity to us is not a calamity to them.” - A comment made by a volunteer I spoke with, who would be preaching later that night. He confessed that many times he felt incapable of guiding the beneficiaries, not being able to empathise with their life experiences that were vastly different. Would it ever be possible for us to fully understand them? The hardships most of us go through in our lives are more often than not dwarfed by the multitude of adversities many beneficiaries had to overcome to get to where they are today. Dysfunctional families, financial crises and lack of accommodation among others were common among these men. You might lose hundreds in the stock market, you can still cry about it under the roof you own, with more than enough food in the fridge.

“The hardships most of us go through in our lives are more often than not dwarfed by the multitude of adversities many beneficiaries had to overcome to get to where they are today. ”

Worship in Faithfulness Room.

 After dinner and some chatting, we had a time of worship. It was heartening to hear the loud singing by everyone in the room, people from all walks of life and backgrounds singing in unison, worshipping Christ. After worship came a time of sharing of the Word by a volunteer, emphasising a Christ-centred identity which is freely given to us instead of an identity created through achievements, connections, and experiences earned by our own efforts, which are sure to fall short. It was a message that I expected would be preached to an audience consisting of those who likely feel a strong sense of failure and guilt having been on the wrong side of the law. Nevertheless, the words that were spoken were filled with immense power. These were words not just meant for those who fell short in the eyes of the law, but were meant for those who have fallen short of the standard of God. These were words meant for all of us.

“These were words not just meant for those who fell short in the eyes of the law, but were meant for those who have fallen short of the standard of God. These were words meant for all of us.”

Preaching in progress.

 We ended the night by sharing about our lives and struggles in small groups. It was a time of thoughtfulness, laughter, encouragement, and self-reflection. For some reason I felt a sense of sadness but also gratefulness while listening to what everyone was sharing. Everyone was still struggling with some form of hardship, even after overcoming life’s largest hurdles. It was a never-ending path of labour and recovery. And yet, it was comforting to see how everyone was still filled with hope and thanksgiving, not yielding to the failures and imperfections that they were all too familiar with.

“Everyone was still struggling with some form of hardship, even after overcoming life’s largest hurdles. It was a never-ending path of labour and recovery. And yet, it was comforting to see how everyone was still filled with hope and thanksgiving, not yielding to the failures and imperfections that they were all too familiar with.”

 Not having experienced what our beneficiaries have gone through, I feel it would be appropriate only to reflect on what I have learnt through the lens of a volunteer. Multiple volunteers that night told me that they felt they had benefited more from TCG than they benefited the beneficiaries. Each of them came with the goal of helping those less fortunate than they were, which is nothing out of the ordinary when it comes to volunteering in general. However, they came to realize that through their service, they themselves were able to grow in unexpected ways. The system that was created to support the beneficiaries, also supported the volunteers. And I, of course, was no exception. Initially I thought of TCG as a support group to help our beneficiaries adjust to life after prison, but what I experienced was something more similar to a community where everyone moved forward together, spurring one another on in the Spirit.

“Multiple volunteers that night told me that they felt they had benefited more from TCG than they benefited the beneficiaries. Each of them came with the goal of helping those less fortunate than they were, which is nothing out of the ordinary when it comes to volunteering in general. However, they came to realize that through their service, they themselves were able to grow in unexpected ways. ”

My first time at TCG was certainly an eye-opening experience in numerous ways, and I look forward to talking, learning and growing with the men there, uncovering more of what they are able to teach me through their stories and advice, as well as uncovering what God wants to communicate to me through them.